Delighting in my Uniqueness

While I am steadfast on my road to slimness, I don’t want to loose sight of something rather important. No matter what size I am or what clothes I wear or make-up I adore myself with, I am unique. I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), the apple of God’s eye. And that is the rock that I stand on. Sometimes I hear woman complain about their faults and imperfections (as I do from time to time). Yet how boring would the world be if we all looked the same, sounded the same, or dressed the same?

It is our uniqueness that makes us all so beautiful, and the true essence of women.  I delight in my curves and my hourglass like figure. These qualities are what make me Kristal. Thus on this Saturday, where I struggled to get out of bed and make my way to workout, I must delight in who I am. As I hope you do.

Size 6/8 by 1/28: I am my worst enemy.

Size 6/8 by 1/28: I am my worst enemy.: " I think about the verse “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13), but do I really believe..."

I am my worst enemy.

I think about the verse “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13), but do I really believe that? If I did, there is so much more I could be doing with my life. Perhaps this rather small task of shedding a few pounds would not be so daunting. To that end, the very thought of being all and doing all I am created to be is somewhat of a scary concept.

Being my worst enemy has meant that I have used food as vice. Some people look to drugs, alcohol, sex, money, or work for their comfort but over the past couple of years I have been seeking the ultimate relief in food.  Facing a variety of obstacles in my life there remains only a couple of constants and one of these is fried tasty, sweet treats.

I have come to the realization that I want so much more. It may sound trivial to some people that have never been handicapped by anything. But for me, this is a problem. I am hopeful, and will continue to rely on God for my strength. For me to break this rather addictive battle with chips, cookies and donuts I have to first know I don’t need them.

All I need is God. Period. The end.  And I need to fit into my size six jeans too.   

Dance, dance, dance! 8.16.10

A couple of weeks ago, a trainer suggested I take dancing lessons to shed some pounds. What a great concept, I pondered. I love dancing and I am quite good at it- so I thought.

Fast forward to today. I decided to conquer my fear of being in an intimate setting with strangers and take my first salsa lesson. I drove bravely to the Mambo Room, thinking yea I got this. I am a veteran salsa dancer, from back in the day at the Latin clubs in New York City.

Let’s just say the feet ain’t what they used to be.

First of all, I have been dancing salsa wrong my entire life! The count is 123, 456, repeat 123,456 somehow I thought there was always an 8 count. And to my astonishment, you are supposed to pivot on the 3rd and 6th step. So to start, my footwork was all-wrong.

Next, the instructor reminded everyone to dance on the ball of your feet. Apparently, my movement is that of an elephant, thump thump thump, thump thump thump.  But by the close of the night I was intentional about being light on my feet and made some improvements.  But while I was dancing, I kept looking at my feet to make sure I knew what I was doing and was told to look up at all times. At one point the instructor asked all the women in the room to close their eyes, and let their partner lead. Wow, I am so not used to being lead however, I did reluctantly follow.

I am relieved nonetheless, that I did hold my own. While I am not Jennifer Lopez on the dance floor I do have rhythm. What I could not do with my feet, my hips managed to make up for.  I must admit, it as was fun to be able to try something different and fun. Hopefully, I will be inspired  to go back next Monday.

To Chipotle or not to Chipotle that is the question?

And sadly, yes was the answer!!

A rather stressful day at work, led me to one of the best Mexican restaurants on earth, Chipotle. If you have never been there before please try it, it is worth the expense.

Yes, I consumed a rather large chicken and shredded pork burrito. Comprised of white rice, black beans, cheese and lettuce with a side sour cream and guacamole.

Yummy, Yummy!

But eating at Chipotle was not my original intent for the day. The morning did start off promising.

I ate turkey sausage and a peach for breakfast and for lunch, had a microwavable chicken and rice Campbell’s soup. Then work happened.

Non-stop, processing forms, sending and responding to emails, answering phone calls, caused me to have an intense day. But by the grace of God, I made it through. And thus after work I made the rather short trip to the Greenbrier area, to seek comfort. 

On the drive to the restaurant I kept second guessing myself, should I or shouldn’t I? I was thinking okay Kristal you are going to regret this later. And yes, after I ate the burrito I did feel a sense of guilt. But for those few of minutes of eating the chicken and pork dish, I savored ever bite and was just as happy as I could be.

Okay back to reality. I didn’t work-out today and did nothing productive to aid me in my cause to lose weight!!!!  Thus, I feel like I am back to square one.

But I did enjoy my burrito!  

Determined!

Five months and 15 days, that is what stands between me and a size six. 

Why a size 6/8?  Why not –I would much rather wear clothes sizes in the single digits, wouldn’t you? Currently, I fit into a size ten dress comfortably, and depending on the brand, even a size eight. Yet my size ten pants are rather skin tight.  Thus, some of my more relaxed pants are a size 12. And that is a number I don’t enjoying seeing.

Therefore I find myself determined to change!!!

Today I took a small step closer to fitting into my goal size. I did one hour of Pilates, and 20 minutes of cardio. Yes, I could have pushed myself harder, but I figured you can’t do it all in one night.

As far as what I ate today, well my diet still needs improvement. The Fritos and kettle corn did nothing to help my cause, however I did manage to slip in a peach and carrots. 

Tomorrow’s objective, limit myself to one snack the entire day and drink tons of water. I haven't quite decided if I am going to work out yet. Is it just me or is there something about going to the gym on a Friday that just seems wrong.